Autobiography has always been an aspiration of mine which I’ve never really managed to get around to realizing. Because starting a diary is hard, have this brief and crappy bit of free verse. I despise bad poetry, and hope to God that I never write poetry seriously (i.e. as something other than an excuse to write badly organized prose), but anyway, here is an introduction to the Chronicles of Me:
When I was younger
I sniffed an entire petunia up my nose
For hours I snorted into the toilet
Then I sneezed and the snot-coated misery was gone.
Last Friday I shook the milk carton
Forgetting I’d already taken off the lid
The kitchen was a pearly puddle of milky appliances and countertops
I had to change out of my Slaughterhouse-Five T-shirt
I am a bumbling human.
I only hope she finds my awkwardness endearing*.
*So you know how a couple months ago I said I wasn’t gay? Hello, gay now!